When the student is ready

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. This quote sits gently in my mind. 

The question I had was “How do I live now” and the answer came through a Cancer Healing Retreat, that was facilitated by a Canadian Oncologist Radiologist Dr Rob Rutledge, with the support of a Canadian Chaplain David Maginley, who himself has a rare form of cancer. 

I was the first to arrive at the venue and I met Rob and David as well as the doctor who had been the organiser of the retreat. When the other participants arrived, including doctors and other health professionals from Auckland Hospital, we introduced ourselves and shared details of our journey. 

Once we discussed our challenges, and got to know each other a bit better, we felt ready to begin the two day retreat, which started the next morning. 

Day 1

Sitting in a circle, which Rob called the Healing Circle, the day began with empowering the body. 

Setting a clear intention to heal is like sending a strong command to the body. To do this we must first enter a peaceful and receptive state of mind. 

As we ground ourselves and let go of worrying about the future we focus on the present moment. This is the process of calming the mind through a powerful visualisation. We are opening to a power that is bigger than ourselves, we are setting an aspiration for ourselves. 

Some of the examples of intentions people used were:

• “May I recover from cancer”
• “May I be strong and healthy”

As we were introduced to the importance of daily mindfulness practices to settle the mind and calm down the body, we were all given a raisin and began experiencing it with all our senses. 

Feeling it with our fingers, smelling it, placing it on our lips, taking the time to feel it in our mouths, noticing the textures and the flavour, was all a part of this process.

This might have been the first time I felt I was in the present moment and not thinking about the past or the future. This was the beginning of me understanding how it felt to just be and quieten down the mind’s chatter. 

As a second step, we were introduced to breathwork, in order to reduce stress and promote healing on all levels. We began by breathing deep into our belly. By taking a long, slow breath deep into the pelvis we initiate our diaphragm. 

To keep the body moving we were introduced to Qi Gong (pronounced “chee-gong”), which is an ancient Chinese healing practice that combines movement, meditation, and controlled breathing to cultivate and balance the body’s vital energy, known as “Qi”. 

Rooted in Traditional Chinese Medicine, it is believed that disruptions or imbalances in the flow of Qi can lead to illness or discomfort. Qi Gong aims to restore this balance, by promoting  physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. 

These easy movements bring our bodies back to a relaxation response in the chaos of life. It was my first-time practising Qi Gong and it took me some time to get used to slow movements.

The venue overlooked the sea, and after lunch we returned to the healing circle before splitting up into smaller groups. In this session we focused on reframing distressing thoughts. 

These included past events and people that may have hurt us in some way or another, as well as negative or unresolved emotions. We talked through these situations, discussing how to reframe them so we may think about the person or situation in a way that is more empowering.

We were learning how to embrace emotions with kindness and awareness, and let go more easily. 

Day one ends with a closing meditation. Emotionally tired, I retreated for the evening, wondering what day two would bring.

Day 2

Everyone arrives on day two with anticipation. We started the day with a mindfulness practice and a group check-in. In small groups we then talked about our fears and hopes. 

What surprised me was that people’s fears were not cancer related. Likewise, I was surprised with my own fears, as I was fearful of going into another relationship as I felt I would be unfaithful to Steve. 

It is surprising what might be hiding behind our emotions that we are not aware of. But once we discover it, we have an opportunity to turn fear into our best teacher. 

After the talk, another movement practice was introduced to us, which was a stretching yoga routine to move the body and quieten the mind. Stretching the entire body, using different poses, we were releasing tightness and aches. It was then that I realized that movement in all its forms was an important part of healing.

After getting the blood flowing, we returned back into the circle, and began talking about spirituality and our cancer journeys. 

Spirituality was always an interest to me, and I have always had a belief that there was something more out there. I wasn’t sure what to call it, God, universe, spirit (GUS) however I was open to learn more.  

A spiritual connection, whatever that might mean, meant to me that we just need to put our faith into something we can not see, but we may feel and learn to trust, finding comfort during troubling times.

As the day comes to a close we finish with a loving kindness meditation. We begin by reconnecting with the heart, connecting with loving kindness and feeding the heart by opening as if it were the radiant sun. 

This meditation is all about extending the love we felt to every part and cell of the body and extending love to beyond yourself.   

We were then asked to take a card and write down one or two insights we gained from the weekend, which was then shared with the group. 

There’s a knowing, a smile or a wink as each insight is read.

Be gentle with me
Be kind to me
Remember to love me
Take care of me
So I can carry you through the life that comes to you.

There is a pause as people think through the words and then a round of applause.

People left the workshop with a new sense of energy, feeling empowered and more positive about the future. This was also an opportunity for many to share their learnings and what they will introduce into their own lives.

It was a joy as people embraced each other. There were tears and laughter all at the same time.

What did I learn? 

I learnt that the cancer journey can be very disempowering as life heads in a new direction. Days are filled with doctor visits, moving from one treatment to the other and recovering from the side effects, with which I didn’t struggle that much, however some people really suffered through the treatment. 

I have come to learn that while going through the treatment there is so much we can do for ourselves that will improve treatment outcomes and to be focused on health and healing and where possible, enhancing the body’s own capacity to heal itself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

To reclaim wholeness in the cancer journey, the 2-day workshop taught me that while going through the treatment plan as a patient we have a part to play in our own healing.  I have learnt that true healing begins from the inside.

I knew this workshop was going to be life changing and it was. I sold a training business I had for 20 years and have now been on a journey of understanding the connection of the mind, body and spirit when it comes to healing. 

I have set up a new business called Kimiora Healing (A Cook Island word meaning Healing Journey) to honour my husband. I now work with a group of doctors (including the doctor that organised the retreat) and other health professionals and we facilitate Integrative Cancer Care Workshops. Our group is called Manawhakaora-Healing Power.